I really don't care much how personal this blog gets anymore. I's trying to become an open book...to the five or so people that actually read this. Two topics: my gratefulness and my extreme hatred. (This will be a long vent).
My Gratefulness:
I am so thankful when people actually come together. Especially in the case of something as mediocre as this year's VBS. So many of the kids in my church have seriously stepped up and shown me a whole new side of themselves and it's just crazy-cool to see. I mean, to have set up and gone over everything in three days and them showing up and actually doing everything, bringing their supplies, helping wherever and whenever and having fun in the process has been the best part of it all. Of course tomorrow, when the actual VBS starts, and kids run around in our makeshift marketplaces and underground churches, it'll be nice, but for me, I think the work behind it has been my favorite part. To actually see teamwork coming out of MY church? Yo. THAT is a 'pig-flying' 'hell-icing-over' 'stop-the-presses' moment. I don't even care much about the rest of it. It'll be whatever it turns out to be but I can truly say we all put our best efforts forward and all my neurotic planning since February hasn't been a waste. In a world where church activities are uncool and showing up to paint or clean is just unclassy and unnecessary.
My Extreme Hatred:
My job and the many levels of incredible anger it causes me to spew out. I try not to ever bring my work back home with me. I like to leave that whole load of poo behind everyday at 5pm (As my friend can account to, I never want to talk about it outside of work.) Yet, it has gotten to a ridiculous stage. Here I am, sitting in front of a computer, getting paid less than grocery store managers to do the work of several people.
I am forced to work under preposterous deadlines because the project's lead underestimates the production time and decides to just go off on trips and turn in everything 7-8 days before it ships. I am forced to work on 130 pages of mindnumbing charts of Horses and their selling prices and their breeder and their sperm count, with absolutely not one drop of design work, forced to work overtime WHILE going to church every single day and setting up for VBS till 9pm. I've been forced into this project due THIS Friday, as a first-timer, even though I specifically got across the message that this would be THE WORST week of my entire year and that I needed this Friday off. I let the director know this 6 weeks in advance. So instead of dividing the work or reassigning it, I have been given the task of completing this 133 page book of a gazillion charts, one day ahead of schedule even though I don't have ALL of the information needed to fill the pages. I have been forced to wake up at an ungodly hour, get to work before the crack of dawn before any of the directors or leads. I get to stay overtime because said project leader just got to an internet cafe and needs a sample of what's finished to can say that I built it wrong, even though I have no page impositions to go by and I have no advertisements ready because the sales reps haven't gotten around to it. EVEN THOUGH THIS THING IS SUPPOSED TO GO THIS FRIDAY! WHAT THE SERIOUS F___!? And that's where my anger boils past maximum. This job, has cost me a lot in the way of morale. I have been cursing like a sailor in my head and I really, truly, feel like a pathetic idiot.. And the best part...this is NOT my first time going through this exact same cycle. This is my MILLIONTH. THAT is what drives me to the point of screaming so hard when I get in the car.
Finished.
Comments (4)
Dudette! I am sorry about your work. If I had to post a similar post, it would be vice versa. 2 year haitus, I know. I actually came back to get a piece of your art from way back, I think a few months back. I love it. So I thought i'd jot down a piece of my mind as well. ... as far as investments, i got in this stock game business, and so far, it hasnt treated me good. :(
...feels good to be back in xanga land :)
=/ sorry about the job issues. the extreme hatred part of your post sounded very similar to a conversation i had with a friend last night. you're not a pathetic idiot. you may work for people who wear that title but it's not one for you. just keep being faithful as you are and you know God won't let you down. there's a reason for the madness. it's more than likely just paving the way for better days =)
hang in there, kiddo! how's VBS going?
I know how you feel. I sympathize..after reding htis my life seems less hectic. Hang in there :o)..and i know what you mean about certain situations making you want to lose your morale